When did it become cool to become crass? Simple please and thank you's, patience, eye-contact and common courtesies (like door holding) used to be the norm.

What happened? Where did all the grace and dignity go? Today, eye contact means being poked in the eyes with two middle fingers.

Why is it necessary for TV to showcase "reality" shows that elevate Neanderthal-types to hero status. When did humiliation, degradation and violence become entertainment?

How many of you have felt the shift in the last twenty years from "we" to just "me." This attitude drives entitlement and devalues each one of us in the process.

Can we begin to make a difference?

Why don't we start supporting a National day of gratitude and civility? Who wants to be involved? We should be civil 365 days a year -- but let's start with one.

Think of what a kinder, gentler world it would be if please and thank you rolled of our lips more often.

Individually, I challenge you this month to up the ante on your own manners. Make it a point to make eye contact with everyone you encounter and offer a heart-felt thank you (even if they are a surly cashier). Hold the door open for those behind you (even if you’re a man). Men, I have yet to meet a woman who is truly offended by this gesture. Social grace is trumping a need to feel liberated (especially when carrying a bag of groceries!)

Collectively, I’d love to hear your ideas for creating a National Civility Day. Please login to the "Kick of the Month Forum" and let me know your thoughts. Together we can make it happen!

I couldn't agree more, Loretta! What HAPPENED to courtesy??? Since your site capable of creating e-cards, why not create one with this theme? We could all send them to our friends with the suggestions you made. We all have big address books - we could spread the word that way, as well as by example, of course. Thanks for all you are doing to make this a better world. Sr. Pat

Post edited by: sisterpat, at: 2007/06/30 22:41

As I read this, I thought of Christmas.
Christmas used to the the time to thank and bless everyone,
including surly clerks.
Saying "Merry Christmas" has become "politically incorrect."
Are we just to use non-sectarian terms like "Happy Holidays"?
You're right about the shift to "me" and I can tell you when.
In the 80's this 'snipet' was played on tv over and over}
"I am The most important person"
I know just what you mean about holding open a door too.
I was in Hollywood walking into Mels' on Sunset
a young man was also entering, just one step ahead of me.
He dropped the door right in my face!
I was deeply offended!
I've carried the emotional injury with me ever since.
I wonder what I could have done or said to alievate that?
..short of kicking him dead in his ass ..

p.s. I don't think I'd use the word Civility, not enough people know what it stands for.
They're liable to think it has something to do with civil service!

Post edited by: annette143, at: 2007/07/01 18:20

Yesterday I read your "Kick of the Month" and knew I wanted to reply. However, I have never posted anything, except, well, a letter at the post office; so I decided to think about it for a bit.

Today, my mother, my daughter and I went to see the movie, "Evan Almighty". Have you seen it? "ARK". That's what Morgan Freeman, (God), tells Steve Carell, (Evan). "You change the world with one "A"ct of "R"andom "K"indness at a time."

As I unstuck my feet from the movie theatre floor, I was struck by what a coincidence it was that I just happened to read your newsletter yesterday, and then was coerced by my daughter to see this movie today.

I was about to leave my daughter's popcorn bag on the floor, (she had hurried out to the ladies room), when I thought, "Hey! this manner/ARK stuff starts with me!" I restuck my feet, picked up her bag, and a couple of other things in our row, threw all of it in the trash and walked to the lobby.

I've decided for the next week to seek out "ARK"s. I may not make it on a Liberty Mutual Insurance commercial, (where someone is "responsible" and someone else sees them being kind and does the same), but you've got to start somewhere, right?

I'm also going to seek out similar types of movies/TV shows/books for myself and my family. I think the only "cuss" word in the whole film was Steve Carell yelling, "SHEEP"!

There was not one punch thrown, not a bit of sex or even sexual innuendo, and the entire theatre was VERY entertained, judging by the amount of guffaws, giggles and sniffles. Hmmm? Who'd a thunk it?

Thanks for the "kick", Loretta! Happy 4th! Here's to "Party Pants" and "ARK"s!

Cheers,
Learning to Laugh

Charleston, SC is known as the most polite city in the US. The mayors Keith Summey of North Charleston and Joe Riley of the City of Charleston proclaimed June first as Say Something Nice Day. The city reportedly requires communication training for employees.
Marjabelle Young Stewart is an etiquette expert who compiles the list of cities. You might find some ideas from here.
I try to start with myself and my family. We require please, thank you, etc in interactions with others and usually have positive results. We are in the South and have lots of comments about our politeness.

I love the idea of mannering our minds. How about if we suggest that each person write a short note (I'm talking snail mail here) to someone to thank them or congratulate or compliment them. That would get people in more of a "we" mode than a "me" mode. It would also force them to actually slow down and think about what another person has done, rather than what they're doing. I am aware that some people are intimidated by writing a note because they think they'll make a mistake or the words won't be right. To them I'd say, the only mistake is NOT sending a note.

Thanks to all the people who've already posted ideas. I'm going to implement them all as much as I can. Great work by you, Loretta, and everyone else!