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This year, let’s look to our strengths, not weaknesses PDF Print E-mail
ImageWell, here we are again, another new year. I guess I’m supposed to motivate and encourage everyone reading this to get going and create a list of resolutions that could enhance or change their lives.

But my years in teaching stress management have shown me that making lists that reflect our desire to lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more often or mend our relationships only seem to sabotage our efforts. The biggest reason for the lack of success is that we come at New Year’s resolutions from feelings of guilt or the perception that we suffer from some weakness over which we have no control.

In the best of worlds, we should be looking at what we’ve done that once made our lives thrive and gave us feelings of empowerment. This model is based on our strengths. I often make people in my workshops pair up with someone in the group and share each other’s talents, virtues and strengths. They have five minutes each to do this exercise and you can see the panic on people’s faces after a couple of minutes go by because they can’t think of anything else to say. When I tell them to share their grievances, they can’t seem to stop.

I always find it interesting that we would rather focus on what’s wrong than on what’s right. The science of positive emotions is proving over and over that when we come from a place of feeling good, our energy soars and our immune system improves.

So with that in mind, make a list of those things that you have accomplished this year. What were the strengths that helped you achieve your objectives? If you have new goals, keep in mind that you have conquered many obstacles in your life and have gained a great deal of resiliency because of it. In the end, it’s what you’ve done to succeed in life that makes you capable of doing more. 
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Caryl said:

  This year I have made much progress in my life. However, it started out slowly as I was still holding on to a lot of bad habits that I had picked up and allowed to dominate my life. But through a good friend, I learned to make a liist of what goals I wanted to achieve. Then we broke it down into separated areas. I included fun things and even new things I wanted to learn how to do. Then we came up with a point system that allows me to feel incentives or rewards without using food. I only do one or two things everyday, so that I do not become overwhelmed. This has helped me to become more organized and to stay in a positive frame of mind. And I try to makie it fun, while I am accompiishing that goal.
I also play the grateful game in which I make a list of 3 things that I am grateful for. The next day I can add 3 more new thiings. And the only rule is that you cannot name the same things over again.and that you are only allowed to write 3 things each day. Each day it is something different. I found that it is surprising how much doing this helped me to stay in the positive, and how things for my list began to keep flowing into my mind. You soon realize that this game never ends unless you choose to end it. And it is amazing what you can come up with to keep it going! Then when I have one of those days that nothing seems to go right for me or i am feeling sad, I can take out my list and read ove r alll the things that I have written, and soon I am in a better mood and frame of mind as I see how blessed I really am! I find that I begin to feel "hope" for better tomorrows!
August 10, 2007

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