Families’ despotic rulers wreak their own sort of havoc

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Last week, I watched a news segment about the military prowess of North Korea. It showed hundreds of soldiers marching in perfect formation and tanks with missiles pointing skyward. And there, in the midst of the grandiose spectacle, was ‘‘his poufiness,’’ President Kim Jong Il.
He strutted, he postured, he waved, and his hair magically stayed intact. It is quite something! It must take a full can of mousse and seven hand maidens to create such height and width.

A floodgate of emotions washed over me as I watched ‘‘himself’’ joyfully waving to his troops and the masses. I was frightened at how easily history repeats itself. We humans seem to be drawn towards despots and their insanity. Fear is a powerful force. It can bring nations to their knees.

I realize that there are myriad reasons, both political and financial, for these individuals and their rule, but I started to think in terms of how many of us act like despots at a lesser level. The modus operandi is to rule with absolute power and authority. I consider that description to fit a lot of people who are control freaks. They have an unbelievable need to micro-manage everything, including the people around them, and they don’t seem to see how ridiculous they are about some of their demands. Their immediate families often follow every rule because they don’t want to ‘‘rock the boat.’’ Meanwhile, the whole ship is sinking under the weight of the captain’s tyranny.

I am often amused when someone in one of my workshops tells me that they have to hang the toilet tissue on the roll a certain way or vacuum the rug in a certain direction. One woman shared that she was so obsessed with order that when her husband got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, she would make his side of the bed again. Then there are those who believe that whatever they say should be written on a tablet and saved for the future because they are so right.

Whenever our behavior becomes dictatorial, we lose sight of the fact that flexibility is an option. I often wonder what would happen to the world if our educational system embraced a course that was predicated on cognitive behavioral therapy; a model that focuses on the fact that thoughts create feelings and behavior.

Would stress become more of a non-issue? Would relationships flourish? Would there be less anger, rage and violence? I happen to think so.

For only when all of us start to realize that everything begins with a thought, either negative or positive, will we truly be able to change ourselves and the global community.

Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth 02360, send E-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , visit the web site at www.stressed.com, or call toll-free 1-800-99-TADAH. (82324).

By LORETTA LaROCHE For The Patriot Ledger

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