Save some of your love for people, not things

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Our culture is permeated with the word love. Celebrities set the tone for excessive kissy face and multiple ‘‘love you, love you’’ every time they see one of their own, even though they might have trashed them in an interview. Commercials show people fondly caressing their iPods and cell phones while they ooze words of love. Women love their bras, their hair products, their high heels and their skin products. Men are less effusive about showing love for things, although all you have to do is watch a man around his new car or a new gadget like a power saw to know he’s in love.

I don’t remember love being bandied about this way when I was growing up. My grandmother, who was somewhat stoic, doled out words of love occasionally to her favorite family members. I was fortunate to be one of them. She never gushed or threw her arms around me with great gusto. She always behaved as if she was giving you something she couldn’t bear to part with. You knew you were special when Francesca whispered in your ear, ‘‘I love you.’’

Even my grandfather, who was much more demonstrative, rarely used the word love to describe his feelings. You could sense it, and see it in his body language, but rarely did I hear him tell my grandmother that he loved or adored her. There were no cards given with flowery verbiage, or flowers sent on special occasions. Everyone just knew that everyone else respected and adored one another. It was an energy that was felt and admired.

I believe they had a love that many of us are missing in our lives because we have become slaves to a form of love that has been redefined by the media and the proponents of consumerism. We are forgetting what real love is. It is not a word to be bandied about to describe everything from brow tweezers to pizza. I realize that we are not going to omit these descriptions from our vocabularies, but they do speak more to the love of stuff than the love of each other. Perhaps we need to revisit as a culture why Herman Melville wrote: ‘‘We cannot live for ourselves alone. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow man.’’

For our mental and physical well-being and in order to thrive and survive, we need to experience the love of being connected to someone else. Family and friends can supply this important function and so can a pet. We also can reach out and give our love to those in need beyond our borders. I truly believe that our world needs true love now more than ever. Make sure you bring it into your life on a daily basis. It will enrich you far more than you ever imagined and will help to bring peace into the world.

Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth 02360, send e-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , visit the Web site at www.stressed.com, or call toll-free 800-99-TADAH (82324).

Copyright 2006 The Patriot Ledger
Transmitted Monday, October 02, 2006

Comments (2) add comment

Old Fart said:

Loretta,

The more superficial we are the more we tend to love our stuff. Stuff comes and goes and really has no importance in our lives other than the importance we give it. Stuff is enduring, most of it will out last our humble existence in this world. We are all here but for a fleeting moment it time, but through our stuff we think we'll extend this time to something beyond. The love of stuff actually makes us miss the important "Present" in our lives. Our only guaranty in life is the present, and some small hope for a piece of tomorrow. If we would learn to live with this in mind we would find "Our Stuff" at the bottom of our list of things important.

September 22, 2007

Tammy Demler said:

Loretta,
I loved your article entitled "Save Some of Your Love for People" This is my life philosophy! I try to be an example for others by living my life showing my great appreciation and love for those that are so special to me. I don't miss an opportunity to say or show that I love them!

Sometimes even a complete stranger has done something nice for me and I let them know they made a difference in my day! This is such an important message to send out to others. I witness busy people each day that just seem to miss a lot of opportunities for loving and appreciating. I feel sad for them and hope they realize they need to slow down once-in-awhile and share their love and appreciation before life has to teach them the lesson by bringing the loss of one of their loved ones

Thanks for the wonderful work you do and the way you teach others through your great HUMOR!

December 11, 2006

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Old Fart said:

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