Old’s no shame; No need to hide it behind young models’ faces

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More and more products that are created for older people and their age-related problems are being pitched by people who look as though they’re still in high school. Last night I watched as a trim, tall, attractive blonde wearing a reinvented Depends undergarment for adult incontinence called Serenity strutted and swaggered around a room as if she were entertaining customers at a burlesque show. The old adult diaper ads had models who were age-appropriate. I realize that anyone can have problems with incontinence. But let’s get real: The average 20-year-old is not running to the bathroom every 10 minutes unless they’ve had 20 bottles of soda.

And who thought of the name Serenity? I don’t think I’m going to feel particularly serene if I wet my pants. I’m probably going to be pretty uncomfortable. Even the name Depends doesn’t cut it. What am I depending on? Once I let go, I pretty much have to depend on myself to mop up and change into a clean pair. Why not just call them Whoops and add a microchip that sounds like a bell or a whistle. That would be especially helpful for people who are procrastinators.

The menopause drug advertisers also seem to think that hormone replacement drugs should feature women who look prepubescent. The only hot flashes these women have experienced are the ones they get when they see a hot-looking guy. What’s wrong with showing us real women of all shapes and sizes who are in their late 40s and 50s who really have the problem? And then there’s the couple smiling and walking through meadows and forests holding hands because he has finally seized the moment and taken Viagra or Cialis. They each look to be about 35 years old. My children are about that age and I know they’re not on those medications. Give me a break. Let’s show the 60- and 70-year-old men. They are much more likely to take this stuff. Somebody finally got smart and started using Sally Field in their ads for osteoporosis medications. She’s 60, so that makes sense.

Why are advertisers so unwilling to have older models showcasing their products, especially when the products are for an older generation? More than likely it’s because for the most part we all want to deny that we are getting older. And more importantly, America is a youth-obsessed society where anyone over 65 becomes persona non grata. It’s really too bad because you either get older or you die. I think we really should begin to reaffirm the former in a more positive way.

The population isn’t getting younger. There are more and more people over 60, so why not showcase them? And there are some pretty spectacular people who still look like they’re full of life into their 90s and beyond. What about them? Let’s get the younger generations to recognize that aging is not something that has to continually be hidden behind a young model’s face.

Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth 02360, send e-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , visit the Web site at www.stressed.com, or call toll-free 800-99-TADAH (82324).

Copyright 2006 The Patriot Ledger
Transmitted Monday, October 16, 2006

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