Loretta's weekly column, Get a Life, reflects her irreverence and unique ability of using humor in everyday life.
Syndicated through Gate House Media which owns 97 daily newspapers as well as 291 published weekly, Get A Life is published locally in The Patriot Ledger, The Brockton Enterprise, The Old Colony Memorial and many more… to find a Gatehouse Media publication near you click here: http://www.gatehousemedia.com/publications/
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Taste What The World Has To Offer |
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I have to admit that I’m a taste-aholic. It’s very difficult for me to decide what I want to order at a restaurant because I want to try everything. The combinations of flavors available today are astounding and have just compounded my capacity for bliss!
I thought what I grew up eating was amazing, but the fact that we now have access to a global taste-fest makes me insane with joy. Have you ever wondered why foods taste so different from one another? You have about 10,000 tiny taste buds on your tongue that act like text messages telling your brain what flavors you’re sampling.
Women have more taste buds than men, but insects have the most highly evolved ones. Who would have thought that a bug would be able to enjoy flavors better than I can?
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I used to love my pajamas. Then menopause hit and I found myself feeling like I had somehow been left stranded on the Sahara desert every night. Most often I would sleep in the buff, but then I would suddenly feel like an Arctic wind had enveloped me and I would frantically whip the pajamas back on. As a result of my bodies relentless changes in body temperature, I decided to embrace nightgowns. You can whip them on and off in one fell swoop. I had never really been crazy about them, except for when I needed them for those “special occasions”. You know the kind that are supposed to be alluring, provocative and are the preliminary to what could be a night to remember. They’re a part of the art of seduction, along with candles, music and whatever else floats your boat.
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I often watch "Entertainment Tonight" to get a dose of celebrity absurdity.
I used to love the show years ago because it showcased stars' homes and in-depth interviews that had some substance. The program has transitioned into multiple segments with very little substance that constantly blare sound bites alluding to salacious activities that you need to stay tuned for. Nothing is out of bounds. It seems that they have reporters lurking in every corner waiting to pounce on anyone who might have star appeal. Nothing is sacred and I wouldn't be surprised if they start showcasing someone on the pot. It has literally become the Cirque du Soleil of Hollywood dirt.
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Reading a book is like making a friend |
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I’ve read more than once that reading is on the decline. I find that to be incredibly sad. This does not only pertain to books, but to newsprint and magazines as well. Bookstores used to be part of every down town area. Some still exist and thank goodness for they are truly jewels that should be treasured. Unfortunately many of the “independent” book stores have been lost to the big chains which were supposed to be bigger, better and could offer more discounted books. The bigger stores also have cafes where you can grab a cup of coffee and a snack while you sink into one of the overstuffed chairs randomly placed around the store. The concept proliferated and soon we could find these retail giants across the country. But even they have not been able to keep up with the decline in reading. One particular chain has been steadily losing profits and will soon be gobbled up by their competitor. My concern is not with profits but what we are losing and will loose by not honoring the act of reading the printed page. Neuroscientists have shown that the brain needs to exercise that which it utilizes. Vocabulary is increased from reading. We not only see the words, but we see how to use them in a sentence. Yes, you can read on the internet, but the experience is simply not the same. It is meant to enable the “hurry sickness” which is so much a part of our stressed out culture. When we are reading from a book we tend to linger, to reflect on what the author might have meant- to daydream and utilize our imaginations as if we were part of the plot.
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Laugh In The Face Of Adversity |
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Many of you know laughter has always been my bailiwick. Well, April is
National Humor Month, so I think we should celebrate profusely and with
great gusto. I don't know why it has been deemed the month to celebrate
humor, it might have something to do with April Fools' Day. Whatever
the reasons it couldn't come at a better time. Everyday the media
reports yet another situation that reeks of doom and gloom. The past
several months my compartment for negative news has been filled to the
top. Oil prices are soaring, political figures are drowning in their
moral crisis, home sales have plummeted, pet food has been recalled,
the Antarctic shelves are slipping into the sea, tournedos are touching
down in major cities, and sick cows are being dragged to the
slaughterhouse.
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Get Over Yourselves and Join the Community |
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The other day I noticed that my local supermarket had a section where you can check out your own groceries. But I like having a clerk do it for me, because it’s fun to talk to someone while they deftly bag my stuff. It is such a relief when I find a gas station that has a person pumping the gas. I don’t want to get out of my car in the freezing weather and try to twist the cap off and end up smelling like an oil field. My credit card never seems to fit into the slot correctly, and I end up trying to jam it in, which simply leaves me twitching. Whatever happened to the guys who pumped the gas and washed the windows? I loved them. They even looked under the hood to see if everything was OK. Did they all pass away along with Milton Berle?
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Well, we have officially entered into spring. It doesn't feel like it
yet but there are definite signs. I see green trying to poke it's way
through the earth in my garden, the birds are definitely revving up,
and the sun feels warmer. |
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Well Valentines Day has come and gone. Many indiviudals eagerly awaited the magic of romance to visit their homes along with the cards and big hearts filled with chocolates.
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As we enter 2008, the usual plethora of articles have started showing up about New Years' resolutions. More often than not they focus on health, relationships, finances or success. They are precipitated by good intentions but often end up discarded because of a variety of reasons.
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Lighten up, all you holiday bashers |
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Ho, ho, ho - ’tis the season to be jolly! Oops, I just made a faux pas. Ho, ho, ho is politically incorrect, according to some folks masquerading as the Christmas police in Sydney, Australia. Evidently, they believe the traditional greeting might sound like a phrase that refers to a woman selling her wares.
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