Well Valentines Day has come and gone. Many indiviudals eagerly awaited the magic of romance to visit their homes along with the cards and big hearts filled with chocolates. Of course you might have opted for a dinner for two, or a weekend getaway. I think it's wonderful if you have a special someone in your life that really makes your pulse race, but what if you don't.? Do you wear a black arm band and walk around the house wailing? I don't think so. I haven't had a significant other in my life for the past three years but one of the things I've discovered since living as a single woman is me. Sometimes love can be all consuming or harmful. Sometimes people get caught up in believing that in order to receive love they have to give themselves away. One particular love song lyric says "take my breath away". I always wondered what I would do after that. I guess I'd have to get an oxygen tank. Our culture uses love and seduction to sell everything from floor mops to pizza. The actors are always gazing into each others' eyes and breathing heavily. What we never see is the many possible ways we can love. It need not come exclusively from a partner. It is also available from friends, family, communtiy and pets. My cat Mr. Boo is an endless source of love and joy. The exchange of love between me and my grandchildren is exquisite and I know I will leave a legacy of love that they will remember. Love helps the immune response and many even add years to our lives. It can help counter the effects of stress, which is directly related to fear. Research has shown that putting your hand on your heart and visualizing someone you love can help regulate your heart rhythm and help you to feel calm and peaceful. I often think of my grandmother Francesca lovingly making me meatballs when I was having difficuties. Food was her antidote for problems with a big sprinkling of dancing with our hearts. And don't forget to keep some chocolates on hand.

By LORETTA LAROCHE
For The Patriot Ledger