Loretta wants to "stop global whining," however we regret that we are unable to ship our products to international addresses(except for Canada), P.O. Boxes, or APO/FPO addresses.

Excise Tax, Duties and Brokerage fees This is an additional charge collected by the Courier upon delivery. We do not know what these charges will be because it is generated by the custom's dept.

Orders from outside of the United States and Canada are not accepted online. Please call us at 800-998-2324 for help with your orders.

Shipping Method, Time, Price

US Mail 

Ground Shipping is 3 - 8 Business Days. It's the least expensive way to ship. We can not ship to P.O. Boxes.

• $4.95 for orders that weigh less than 2 lbs
• $10.95 for orders that weigh between 2 - 5 lbs
• Orders that weigh over 5lbs will be shipped via UPS.

UPS Shipping

We also offer various UPS shipping options. The prices will vary by order weight and shipping address. All UPS prices will be calculated during checkout. 

Canada 

Canada Ground (4-7 days)- add $3.00 to standard shipping charges (see above chart). We usually ship US Post or UPS Ground.

Shipping charges are automatically calculated, and reflect both shipping and handling charges. Your billing address must match your credit card billing address.

Please remember we can't ship to post office boxes.

Sales tax will be added for Massachusetts residents only.

Next Day Awfulizing and Catastrophizing

This is important because we don't want our customers stressed about Next Day Air. Upgrading to Next Day Air does NOT mean you'll receive your order the next day! Upgrading to Next Day or Second Day Air does reduce the travel time AFTER your order leaves our warehouse, but it does not change how long it takes us to process your order.

Shipping times start when your order leaves our warehouse on its way to your door. We calculate the length of time for delivery based on Business Days, which of course exclude weekend days and holidays. UPS does not pick up shipments from us on Saturdays, Sundays or holidays.

Order Processing Time

We will make every effort to process your order within 24-48 hours. So to approximate when your order should arrive, take the average number of Business Days your shipping option requires, plus the 24-48 hour processing time, throw out any holidays or weekends, and there you have it. But please, if you haven't received your order in 10 Business Days, please contact us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Please refer to our Privacy Policy to learn how we don't sell, share or take improper advantage of the personal information you give us.

To order by telephone, please call us 24-hours a day at (800) 998-2324.